Commas

“Please call me David.” vs. “Please call me, David.”

Commas, Common English Blunders, Versus

Open the text-messaging app on your smartphone, touch the microphone icon, and try dictating the imperative “Please call me, David.” as a text message. You should expect to get “Please call me David” instead. Speech-to-text technology in these apps often does not treat pauses as anything special.

You might type a period to terminate the sentence, but you might miss the need to insert the comma where it is needed.

Now, imagine three things:

  1. You are sending the text message to a man by the name of David.
  2. He knows you as John Smith.
  3. He has heard rumors that you might go by a different name.

Now consider two different messages that this man could get, depending on whether you inserted a comma after “me” in your imperative message.

“Please call me David.”

This is asking the recipient to refer to you by the name “David” (instead of by “John” or “Mr. Smith” in our imaginary example).

“Please call me, David.”

This is asking the recipient to telephone you.

Conclusion

If you want someone to refer to you by the name “David”, then send a “Please call me David.” text message.

If you want someone to telephone you and that person’s name is David, then send a “Please call me, David.” text message.

“How are you gorgeous?” vs. “How are you, gorgeous?”

Commas, Common English Blunders, Versus

Proper use of commas is becoming a lost art. Many children are not learning how to use commas. And, smartphones are not helping.

For example, dictate “How are you, gorgeous?” into the speech-to-text feature of the text-messaging app of your smartphone, and you likely will get “How are you gorgeous” instead.

Current speech-to-text technology does not detect the inflection of a question. Still, many users of this technology will resolve this by typing a question mark before sending the message.

But, many users will not insert the comma when it is needed.

“How are you gorgeous?”

This is asking the recipient to justify how he or she is gorgeous.

“How are you, gorgeous?”

This is asking the recipient how he or she is feeling or doing AND is referring to him or her as gorgeous.

Conclusion

If you want to offend a friend or relative who knows that a comma means a pause, then send a “How are you gorgeous?” text message to him or her.

If you want to compliment someone about his or her looks while asking about his or her well-being, then send a “How are you, gorgeous?” text message.

“CAUTION Large Trucks”

Commas, Hyphens, Imperatives

My wife and I saw this yesterday while exiting a parking facility.

Problem:
The significance of the caution sign was unclear.

Explanation:
The sign was a landscape-oriented sign above the exit from an underground parking structure, and “CAUTION Large Trucks” — with absolutely no punctuation — appeared in a single line on the sign.

My wife and I had just left a department store, and we were waiting in a queue of automobiles that were exiting the parking structure.

The sign appeared above an opening through which we had to pass and then make a sharp right turn (no left turns allowed) so as to travel up a one-way ramp that let cars enter a street.

The ramp began to the left of the opening.

What therefore became unclear was what the sign maker intended to say.

A possible but unlikely meaning was “Please caution the drivers of large trucks.”, but I could not tell you why I as a reader of the sign should caution the drivers of large trucks.

Here are two possible, rational meanings:

  1. “Take caution! Large trucks are approaching from your left as you focus on turning right onto this one-way ramp that leads up to the street.”
  2. “If you are driving a large truck, then take caution while turning to your right so as to avoid scraping the walls surrounding this exit ramp that leads up to the street.”

If I were to rewrite the first rational meaning in as few words as I could, then I would write, “CAUTION: Large Trucks Approaching from Left!”

If I were to rewrite the second rational meaning in as few words as I could, then I would write, “CAUTION: Turn Large Trucks Carefully!”

Notice that both rewritten forms had to include additional words but also had to include punctuation, which the original sign lacked.

In other words, brevity taken to the extreme can lead to confusion.

Solution:
Use punctuation on a sign such as this one to ensure that readers know what they are supposed to do.