Month: March 2008

“Apply anytime weeds are actively growing.”

Adjectives, Adverbs, Common English Blunders

I saw this on a Scotts Bonus S fertilizer bag.

Problem:
An adjective was used where an adverbial phrase is required.

Explanation:
“Anytime” is an adjective.

It’s an anytime event to have Bill Clinton visit our donut shop. is an example of the proper use of “anytime”. The adjective “anytime” tells the reader/listener the what type of event it is to have Bill Clinton visit the writer/speaker’s donut shop.

As you start to read the notice on the fertilizer bag — “Apply anytime weeds” — it seems that you are supposed to apply a particular type of weed (“anytime weeds”).

This makes no sense, especially when you then read “are actively growing.”

Some readers might unconsciously drop in “that” to get “Apply anytime weeds that are actively growing.”

Huh? What’s an anytime weed, and why should I apply actively growing ones to my lawn?!

Instead, the writer of the notice wants to tell you when to apply the fertilizer, not when to apply the “anytime weeds”.

What’s needed in the notice on the bag is the adverbial phrase “any time”, which is equivalent to “whenever”.

Getting stuck in the longest line happens any time that I try to pick the shortest line at the grocery store. is an example of the proper use of “any time”. The adverbial phrase “any time” tells the reader/listener when the writer/speaker gets stuck in the longest line.

Solution:
“Apply any time weeds are actively growing.”

“REPORT DISCOURTEOUS DRIVER’S TO”

Apostrophes, Common English Blunders, Possessives

I saw this on the back of a delivery van two days ago.

Problem:
The sign writer converted a singular noun into a possessive instead of into a plural noun.

Explanation:
Book authors such as Lynne Truss are bang on when they say that sign writers have a propensity to put apostrophes where they do not belong.

The sign writer for the delivery van is guilty of this offense.

The sign writer either should have left the noun in singular form (“DRIVER”) or should have used the plural form (“DRIVERS”).

The writer probably wanted to be somewhat generic — and not pick on the driver of the van to which the sign is attached — and use the plural form of “DRIVER”.

One humorous aside: There was no telephone number to call for reporting a lack of courtesy!

Solution:
“REPORT DISCOURTEOUS DRIVERS TO”

“Please … forward back to me …”

Adverbs, Verbs

Huh? I saw this in an email message.

Problems:
The adverb contradicts the verb in the sentence, and the implied object of the verb should be provided.

Explanation:
The sentence in the email message was along the lines of “Please review the document, identify any defects in the attached log, and forward [the log] back to me by 12 PM CT on 3/20/2008.”

The adverb “back” contradicts the verb “forward” in the sentence. The solution to this first problem is replace “forward back” with “return”.

I believe that the writer of the email message was thinking “return back” — because, as I’ve written earlier, so many people today erroneously follow the verb “return” with the redundant “back” — and then replaced “return” with “forward” to get “forward back”.

Replacing “forward back” with “return” is insufficient, though. What’s missing is the object of the verb “return”. The solution to this second problem is to put “the log” immediately after the verb “return” to get “return the log”.

Some might argue that “return it” instead of “return the log” would be sufficient, but others may rightfully argue that “it” could refer either to the earlier “the attached log” or to the even earlier “the document”, which could lead to confusion among some readers.

Solution:
“Please … return the log to me …”