Month: April 2009

“If we all row … we will climb the mountains …”

General

I saw this in a corporate announcement.

Problem:
The writer mixed metaphors.

Explanation:
The full sentence was “If we all row in the same directions, we will ultimately climb the mountains and be successful.”

Beyond this conditional sentence’s use of the plural “directions” where the singular “direction” was required (as discussed in yesterday’s post), there is a problem with the “If” clause matching the implied-“then” clause.

Given the target audience, I doubt that the writer was referring to some sort of extreme adventure such as uphill kayaking.

So it makes no sense to the average reader to climb a mountain by rowing.

The solution comes from making a water-related reference (e.g., to a lake) in the implied-“then” clause.

Solution:
“If we all row … we will cross the lake …”

“If we all row in the same directions, …”

Adjectives, Nouns, Plurals

I saw this in a corporate announcement.

Problem:
The noun should be singular, not plural.

Explanation:
The full sentence was “If we all row in the same directions, we will ultimately climb the mountains and be successful.”

Beyond this sentence’s mixed metaphor (more on that in tomorrow’s post), there is a problem with the “If” clause.

First, we must agree that anyone can row in only one direction at any given time.

Now, suppose that you are rowing in a direction and that I am rowing in a direction.

Suppose further that these two directions are identical.

Then there is one and only one direction in which the two of us are rowing.

We would call this “the same direction”.

By the way, it is incorrect to say that the adjective “same” always modifies a singular noun.

An example of the adjective “same” correctly modifying a plural noun appears in “Jack and Jill like the same fruits.”

Solution:
“If we all row in the same direction, …”

“She is a bimbo.”

Common English Blunders, Foreign Languages, Number

I have lost track of how many times I have heard this.

Problem:
The gender of the noun does not match the gender of the pronoun.

Explanation:
The noun “bimbo” comes from Italian and refers in Italian to a male child, male infant, or male baby.

As Dictionary.com explains, one of the definitions of “bimbo” in American English is “an attractive but stupid young woman, esp. one with loose morals.”

I do not know how a masculine Italian noun became a feminine English noun that is disparaging and offensive but makes no comment on the target’s sexuality.

But, ever since I learned enough Italian to appreciate the gender pattern in masculine and feminine Italian nouns, whether singular or plural, I have been bothered by how ignorant “She is a bimbo.” sounds.

The feminine form of “bimbo” is “bimba”, which gives us the solution.

Solution:
“She is a bimba.”