Adjectives

“Chance that someday you will forget …”

Adjectives, Adverbs, Common English Blunders

I saw this in a television advertisement two days ago.

Problem:
“Someday” is an adjective, but an adverb is required here.

Explanation:
The verbiage displayed in the FedEx TV ad was along the lines of “Chance that someday you will forget to hit mute”, with no space between “some” and “day”.

“Someday” — without the space — tells you what.

For example, a “someday occurrence” is something that occurs at an indefinite future time.

In other words, “someday” is an adjective; it modifies a noun (such as “occurrence”).

In contrast, “some day” tells you when.

An example of the correct use of “some day” is “It will happen some day.”

The goal of the television advertising copywriter was to tell the viewer when he or she would forget.

Solution:
“Chance that some day you will forget …”

“Helpful” vs. “Helpless”

Adjectives, Outsider's Perspective, Versus

I heard one of these adjectives the other day and immediately thought of the other one.

Problem:
These two adjectives appear to be antonyms but are not antonyms in today’s usage.

Explanation:
The core definition of the adjective “helpful” is rendering or giving assistance or aid.

An example of the correct use of this adjective is “The helpful teller made all bank patrons feel good about the bank’s services.”

In other words, someone who is helpful is someone who is of service.

There are four basic definitions of the adjective “helpless”:

  1. dependent or weak, as in “He is helpless without his wife.”;
  2. incompetent or powerless, as in “The employee is helpless without her supervisor.”;
  3. involuntary or impossible to control, as in “They suffered from helpless crying upon seeing the effects of the tornado.”;
  4. unable to provide help, as in “The helpless waiters discouraged diners from returning to the restaurant.”

The fourth definition of “helpless” is obsolete, so “helpless” in today’s language is not an antonym of “helpful”.

Solution:
Remember that “helpless” can mean the opposite of “helpful” in older books but is not the antonym of “helpful” today.

“TOGO”

Adjectives, Devolution toward Simpler, Hyphens, Nouns

I saw this on a restaurant receipt.

Problem:
A hyphen is missing.

Explanation:
I ordered some “take-out” food from a restaurant a couple of evenings ago.

While I was waiting for my order to be prepared, I studied the receipt.

Printed in all capital letters in the middle of it was “TOGO” — spelled T-O-G-O.

Beyond the ridiculousness of using all capital letters given the mixed-case font used throughout the receipt, the designer of the receipt surely did not mean to refer to the African country officially known as the Togolese Republic.

No, the designer was trying to indicate that the order was a take-out order — that the order was “to-go” — spelled T-O-HYPHEN-G-O.

The format of the receipt was more than four characters wide, so the omission of the hyphen between “TO” and “GO” could not be blamed on lack of space.

I believe that the omission of the hyphen is consistent with my “Devolution toward Simpler” linguistic hypothesis. It is simpler to omit the hyphen than to include it.

For fun, I searched Google for each of the following (with the quotation marks, to avoid variations) and got about the indicated numbers of matches:

  • “to-go orders” — using T-O-HYPHEN-G-O — 332,000 matches
  • “togo orders” — using T-O-G-O — 3,390 matches

This tells me that Web authors have used the correct spelling versus the incorrect spelling by a ratio of 97.9-to-1, which is very good.

I still have to wonder whether the restaurant receipt designer has even heard of the country of Togo. Perhaps if he or she had, then the need for the hyphen would have been more obvious.

Solution:
“TO-GO”