Devolution toward Simpler

“(… the G1 is NOT even close people)”

Commas, Devolution toward Simpler

I saw this in a comment below a blog post.

Problem:
A comma is missing.

Explanation:
The comment appeared almost immediately below the bottom of a blog post about how Blackberry can beat iPhone.

The commenter wrote “The only known true competition to the iPhone (yes thats right, the G1 is NOT even close people) is the BB Storm.”

Ignore the other problems, and focus on the end of the parenthetical remark.

The comment writer was telling his readers that the T-Mobile G1 cellphone should not be compared to the AT&T iPhone because the G1 is “NOT even close” to the iPhone in terms of features.

The writer was referring to his readers as “people”.

If you say the parenthetical remark aloud in the spirit of what the writer intended, then you will notice that you pause between the word “close” and the word “people”.

This pause should be represented by a comma, which gives us the solution.

In contrast, if you speak the parenthetical remark exactly as it was written, then the sense of the remark becomes twisted to mean that “close people” are not the G1 cellphone, which makes no sense.

I believe that this type of omission of a comma is consistent with my “Devolution toward Simpler” linguistic hypothesis. It is simpler to omit a comma than to write or type one.

Solution:
“(… the G1 is NOT even close, people)”

The diversity of “get”

Devolution toward Simpler, Outsider's Perspective, Verbs

The verb “get” is amazingly diverse in its definitions.

“You can get a ticket.” means “You can receive a ticket.”

“You get to go.” means “You are allowed to go.”

“You get up at 8 o’clock?” means “You wake up at 8 o’clock?”

“Do you get it?” means “Do you understand it?”

“Get out of my way!” means “Move out of my way!”

“Could you get that for me?” means “Could you procure and bring that for me?”

“When do you get your hair cut?” means “When do you cause your hair to become cut?”

“Get her before she reaches the prison fence!” means “Seize her before she reaches the prison fence!”

“When do you get home?” means “When do you arrive home?”

And these are only some of the definitions of the verb “get”!

I believe that this diversity is consistent with my “Devolution toward Simpler” linguistic hypothesis. It is simpler to say or write “get” than to say or write the verbs that it replaces.

From an outsider’s perspective, though, the diversity of “get” must be challenging to master.

“… the areas first formidable competition …”

Apostrophes, Devolution toward Simpler, Possessives

I saw this in a press release today.

Problem:
A possessive apostrophe is missing.

Explanation:
The press release was about AT&T U-verse service in Nashville, Tennessee.

The full sentence was “AT&T has begun pulling permits in Nashville to roll out its new TV service, the areas first formidable competition for Comcast cable and the satellite TV companies that operate here.”

A possessive apostrophe is missing in the word “area”.

I believe that the number of people who write possessive nouns simply by adding the letter “s” is increasing.

I believe that this increasingly common mistake is due to ignorance and to the growing number of people who use text messaging, for which punctuation beyond a comma, period, exclamation mark, or question mark is often difficult.

And I believe that this mistake is consistent with my “Devolution toward Simpler” linguistic hypothesis. It is simpler to omit the possessive apostrophe than to include it.

Solution:
“… the area’s first formidable competition …”