Devolution toward Simpler

“2 Complete Pair for $99”

Common English Blunders, Devolution toward Simpler, Number

I saw this in a television advertisement two days ago.

Problem:
“Pair” is a singular noun being used incorrectly as a plural noun.

Explanation:
The TV ad was from EyeMasters, which was promoting the fact that a customer could buy two complete sets of eyeglasses for $99.

A set of eyeglasses — one for each eye — is called a pair of eyeglasses.

Multiple sets of glasses is the same as multiple pairs of eyeglasses.

I believe that the misuse of “pair” as a substitute for “pairs” is consistent with my “Devolution toward Simpler” linguistic hypothesis. It is simpler to say “pair” than to say “pairs”.

For fun, I searched Google for each of the following phrases (with the quotation marks) and got about the indicated numbers of matches:

  • “two pairs” — 3,230,000 matches
  • “two pair” — 1,080,000 matches

This tells me that Web authors favor “two pairs” over “two pair” by a pitiful ratio of 2.99:1.

Solution:
“2 Complete Pairs for $99”

“Home Theater Install Unit”

Adjectives, Common English Blunders, Devolution toward Simpler, Nouns, Verbs

My wife saw this yesterday on the side of a delivery truck.

Problem:
The sign maker used a verb where an adjective was required.

Explanation:
The delivery truck belonged to a retailer that sells home-theater systems.

The retailer uses the truck to deliver new home-theater systems for installation.

This gives us the solution. The word “Install” is incorrect on the sign because it is a verb. The sign maker should have used the word “Installation”, which is a noun that can be used as an adjective.

Unfortunately, at least in American English, it has become a common English blunder to use the verb “install” as if it were a noun, which it is not.

I believe that the misuse of “install” as a substitute for “installation” is consistent with my “Devolution toward Simpler” linguistic hypothesis. It is simpler to write the seven-letter, two-syllable word than to write the twelve-letter, four-syllable word.

Solution:
“Home Theater Installation Unit”

“… disposing the body …”

Devolution toward Simpler, Prepositions, Verbs

I heard this a couple of weeks ago on a Discovery Channel program.

Problem:
A preposition is missing.

Explanation:
I heard a detective say “… disposing the body …” while discussing a homicide during a Discovery Channel television program.

The correct expression is “… disposing of the body …” because “dispose of” is the verb phrase that means to get rid of or to discard.

I believe that the homicide detective’s omission of the preposition “of” after the verb “dispose” is consistent with my “Devolution toward Simpler” linguistic hypothesis. It is simpler to omit “of” than to include it.

Another possible reason for omission of the preposition “of” is that the detective mistakenly equated the verb “dispose” with the verb “discard”, the latter of which does not take the preposition.

For fun, I searched Google for each of the following (with the quotation marks, to avoid variations) and got about the indicated numbers of matches:

  • “disposing of the body” — 165,000 matches
  • “disposing the body” — 4,400 matches

This tells me that Web authors have used these three spellings by a ratio of 37.5-to-1, which is good but not excellent.

Solution:
“… disposing of the body …”